My Dreams

Gone.

All gone.

I would have waited. I would have stayed. I would have been without pressure. Free, like I tried so hard today to say. If only she could see me now...how returned I've been! I would have been loyal and surprising and funny and alive. I would have been me. And parts of myself she's never seen. Such fun together, it almost makes me cry. I would have been happy. With her, the only one I've ever, ever felt this way with. :)

But sometimes, people forget their love. And they feel like they must go. Such things, although so sad...I cannot control them, people are not my own. People forget the specialness. Up until yesterday, I had forgotten it. For a whole month. Then I saw her and it all came back. :) But sometimes people do not wait or stay.... I hope it is temporary but I cannot know.... I tried to explain, to apologize, to listen today, but she simply accused me.... All I wanted to do today was be myself and honest and patient and it would get better. But I guess I am here...once more, left standing, in the rain.

She's always in my heart.