Summer Left Me

I woke up and looked out my window this morning, and a beautiful snowfall had fallen. I stood for just a moment, admiring the whiteness of all the soft snowflakes. My roommate said it made him angry, it wasn't supposed to be this cold in November yet. But I smiled, because it made me very happy. The cold hurts, but I love the winter.

I thought summer had left me in the same way happiness leaves you. It's hard to talk about, especially on a blog. I thought the days of real, genuine, intimate connections were simply behind me. I'd had them with friends, family, and so on but that was in my childhood for the most part. I never thought that while summer would leave me, winter would bring the most intimate of all connections.



I can't really describe how much it means to me. This connection, it brings me so much joy. And love. Big word to use there, but I find myself thinking it more and more simply because that's how I feel. I feel like not even words can describe this sensation. After years of thinking about it, I've found it!

But it does make me sad sometimes. Well, not sad, just very longing. I can't help but think of the future and where that will go. But I remember the title of this blog, and I feel peaceful once again. Part of the reason I'm so abstract now, is just that for others close to me reading this blog, I'm expressing myself because I have to and it's overwhelming me, not because I want questions. This is my own private shelter almost. But even I can't help to talk about it.

How two people can be worlds away but right next to each other...it reminds me of that Avatar movie, except this feels so much more real. Almost unbelievable. I feel so close.

But the thing I most want to say is that I'm happy. Even if things get me down, I'm happy about this. I'm blissful even! And it's all because of you, this connection. I'd say thanks, but its something so shared I know its that way for both.

I look outside and I see the new fallen snow. The way it covers everything with its beauty. And I feel happy.